Diary of a DJ (part 3)

This week it's Ian Dewhirst

Sunday....
Oh...fuck...fuck fuck and shit...where the hell am I ? and my poor head-how much did I drink last night...? All I can recall is going to some freebie -taking along a few copies of my latest compilation (Mastercuts -the Rubettes) to some swanky private address..... and yadda yadda........I end up in this room with a nutter who has an eight ball of coke-and a half Russian half Italian 28 year old beauty of a Woman (I'm talking porn Star body-and not some cheapo porn DVD sold by a Chinaman on the street )- suffice to say I got rid of the nutter (I told him my Shalimar Story)-and things worked out nicely for Anglo Italian/Russian relations- if you know what I mean. Now all I have to do is orientate myself and get home-thank God for the iphone and GPS.

Monday
Now I'm well into my dotage I'm comfortable with being old. Except the bollocks-they dangle as low as a limbo dancer on Jerk Chicken Night...(I know a few things about Jamaica too having been best mates with Bob Marley)....Still my advice to all Men is when naked with a woman lie down quickly..Also tuck your balls and cock behind your legs then close them and say "Hey look at me I'm a woman !"- it freaks them out.....

Tuesday
I'm constantly surprised by how young people (those in there 40t's)-are interested in the Soul Movement of the 70t's. They were great times-people such as Russ Winstanley,Ginger, Soul Sam, Ian Levine,Colin Curtis and perhaps more importantly Myself-shaped music for generations to come. Before 1972 nobody had ever even danced to a record-the idea of a nightclub was..... well impossible to imagine. I've written extensivley about this on the "I like Disco please Kill me" forum (on my 27 page thread). Yet despite this I'm still asked what it was like back then....Imagine the movie "Boogie Nights"-well I was like the Mark Warburgh character only bigger in one place.....yes the Record Collection (I'm so funny at times).......I'm more of an entertainer than DJ.

Wednesday
I'm slowly begining to realise that there is no more money to be made in compilations . This is in part because over the years I have made every old track ever recorded availible on a compilation. I could use new material but Phil Driver has that sown up-plus he's ruthless-I heard one artist who wanted a higher percentage and some points on Soul Unsigned volume 4-woke up with the head of his daughters kitten on his pillow !!!....No I need to change tack, and what I have left to bring to the Marketplace is myself-such as my tales of derring do back in the day. So I've written a screenplay about me and my mate Bob Marley hanging about together smoking the ganga and setting the world to rights...I've gone for the original title "Marley and Me"- it's sad because he dies in the end.....